I'm a Mamma!

If i would have became a momma when we decided to start a family, i would be celebrating my 6th mothers day. but as with all things its the Lords timing not ours and today i'm celebrating my second.

i think back to the 3-4 years of trying to start a family and know that where we are right now is exactly where we are supposed to be. 

i have carried a lot of burdens in my life and i know i am FAR from done with my fair share of challenges that lie ahead,

but for some reason the burden of infertility was made light.

after a couple years we started thinking that maybe adoption would be our only choice and i was completely fine with that. I have witnessed so many adoption miracles that i knew without a doubt sometimes our Heavenly Father needs to send our babies down in a different way but they would find their way home.

However, after one miscarriage and 4 years we welcomed our first little boy into the world 

and i became a MAMMA!

a title that i prize more then any other.

this is one of my very favorite pictures, not because of my puffy post labor face, but because gabe was only hours old and i remember feeling like he was so familiar laying in my arms.

i remember hearing his little cry and thinking, i know that cry, right from the beginning.

and although i dont actually remember feeling my heart triple in size

i'm pretty sure it had to to hold the amount of love i have for this little man.

Not only did he make me a mamma, but he made us a Family.

who knew all the traveling, adventures, date nights, sleep and freedom

couldn't even compare to the joy that being a mom would bring.

watching your husband go from being a spouse to being a dad too. 

and knowing that this is your everything for eternity and not wanting it any other way.

and now in just a few short weeks, gabe will get to become more then just a son but a big brother and i will get to become a mamma all over again and we will be a family of 4, and i will get to use the term "kids" plural and i'll become more sleep deprived then i already am. 

i'll get to meet this little rib kicking maniac that i'm already in love with.

i'll get to introduce him to his big brother and best friend.

i'll get to hold him in the middle of the night and smell that new baby smell and cry because i'm not sure how much more happiness i can take. 

and laugh, and worry, and smile, and teach, and learn, and snuggle, and pull my hair out,

 and get down on my knees and ask my heavenly father what the heck i'm doing

and then thank him for the opportunity to mess up

and get up the next morning and try again.

because 

I AM A MAMMA. 

~ Happy Mothers Day ~