little UTE!

 this just happens to be one of my very favorite pictures of all time!

not because of how stinkin' handsome both my boys look!

but because they are both over the top happy about the whole situation.

daddy is at a UTAH game with his little man.

and the little man is getting all of mom and dads attention

plus popcorn!! 

i mean what could be better!?

we have a lot of these days ahead of us with our growing roster of little men. 

and maybe someday we will even be in the stands sporting an official Utah jersey
with ECHOLS on the back in support of one or three of them.
(can you imagine the grocery bill)
but NOT yet!!
gabe asked me while at the game if he could go down on the field and play
i told him he needed to wait till he got a little bigger.
and he looked at me with this "how dare you" glare
and said
"i am big already, see" (while flexing)

yes little man you are big, but not big enough.

so please stop wishing for time to go any faster then it already is! 

this is gabe at his very first football game. he was just 3 months old. 

and now he is 3 years old and that happened in literally .03 nano seconds.

so hopefully i dont wake up tomorrow morning 

to him lining up to 4th and inches.

i'd like a bit more of the in between time first!  

GO UTES!!

big shoes

 i just have to say dad's are the best arent they?!

well to these two little dudes there aint nothin' better!

and to this mama, he is no doubt my better half,

the yin to my yang

the french fries to my frosty. 

you get the idea!

he's a rock star!

 i get a big ol' grin on my face every time he walks in from work and the boys bolt to the door to greet him. 

each wanting some one on one time IMMEDIATELY!

he always has an audience in the closet while he changes out of his work clothes.

i can hear gabes non stop commentary of the day played in fast forward and on repeat,

while mac grunts and tries to climb up his leg 

all while the big man is just trying to pull on some "dress sweats" and a t-shirt. 

 gabes always trying to think of things to do for dad while he's at work,

most recently its watering the newly planted trees.

12 times per day, and when i have to put the kibosh on it,

he expertly pulls out the "but dad would really love it if i did that"

as he stares at me with his big blues and looks so sincere.

and i have to force myself to think of the fish that are losing their lives because of the excessive watering. 

then explain that daddy only likes the trees watered once a day or they could die. 

 i love that when arron calls to check in during the day and i put him on speaker phone, 

mac waddles over as fast as he can and tries to find daddy somewhere behind the phone.

i really just love them to the sky and down to the worms
{as gabe says when trying to convey how very very much he loves something}
and i cant wait to add another little dude to the testosterone take over thats happening at the echols house.

i hope they grow up to be just like their daddy

cuz them are some big shoes to fill. 

Superhero's

I recently read a post on face book about pretending to be a superhero mom. 

this is not something i have a problem with.

i DO NOT by any stretch of the imagination believe i am nor pretend to be a superhero mom.

but i do think i set expectations for myself 

WAY TO HIGH!

 

somedays, like today, i don't even feel like i'm a good mom.

and in order to remind myself of this day i felt the need to purge my soul 

so someday if my daughter-in-law feels this way. 

like.. i am failing as a mom!

i can refer her to blog post #173

so she will know she is not alone

and hopefully by then i'll have forgotten the hard parts of this stage and look back on them lovingly.

and tell stories about how fun it was to have 2 boys under 4 with one on the way.  

this afternoon during mac-a-do's nap time, i attempted to blog.

gabe was outside playing in the dirt (of course).

and so for the first 5 minutes things were not total chaos.

but, and i'm not exaggerating, 

i could not think of one nice happy thing to say about my own children.  

hows that for mother of the year?!

gabe is SOOOOOO hard right now, he pretty much doesn't listen to a thing i say.

i feel like NOTHING i do works, i'm in a constant battle all day.

time out, take away toys, privileges, bribery, treats

getting down on his level to try and reason with the 3 year old.

Nothing!

so what do i do?

Yell. angry for the love of all thats holy listen to me before i punch the wall, yell.

no i'm not proud of it, and besides that doesn't work either, all that does is make me feel worse and angry at myself. 

but in the spirt of "not pretending" i'm putting it out there.
along with....

i didn't change mac out of his jammies today and if daddy hadn't dressed gabe before i got home from work this morning, he would still be sporting his mickey mouse get up. 

i've been walking around choosing to ignore the fact that i stick to the floor in numerous spots throughout the kitchen, and have done so for about a week. 

i had ice cream for lunch while gabe ate left over mac n'cheese.

so no, i dont pretend to be a superhero mom, cuz i dont even know how to PRETEND!

i can't even bloody fake it. 

but let me just put this thought out there, i'm sure i'm not the only mom to ever feel this way!

actually i know i'm not, because, out of desperation, i found myself googleing 

"how to get thru to a 3 year old before i slit my wrists"
{ok maybe not the slit my wrists part}

but there is A LOT of other mom's that struggle with the same thing.
however in reading thru the comments i did not find ONE SINGLE SOLUTION!
So i guess i do what i've always done and wing it.
isn't that what we all do anyway?
we are totally unqualified, with no degree in how to raise upstanding members of society.
however we, and by we i mean I,  somehow knew way more about parenting BEFORE we had children.
so we go and get ourselves knocked up and then bam,
 we are parents and we are like
holy crap i have no idea what I'm doing,
i did not plan to have a defiant 3 year old that thinks chocolate milk has its own place on the food pyramid,
or a 1 year old that struggles to sleep thru the night,
before the kids i knew exactly the right way to mold little humans.
that ended and real life began and yeah,
we are flying by the seat of our pants over here!
so i have to say..
the real superhero's are these tiny, ignorant, helpless, innocent beings
that blindly trust us to do the best we can
there is no judgement and their love for us is unconditional
no matter how many days a week they don't make it out of their jammies.
they're just enjoying the ride.

that, my friends, is a real superhero!

sugar high

 my mom lives for this stuff

taking the grandkids to the zoo

or to fly a kite, on a picnic..

you name it!

she loves all the cliche things that you'd think a grandma should like.

but heres the thing. 

after a long hot / rainy day with no naps and way to much sugar

she gets to go home, to her own home.

the home without the children. 

 but thats what grandparents are for, right?

spoil em', love em', rile em' up  

and send them on their way. 

 well the little kiddos love every stinken minute of it!!

and when i take a step back from my sleep deprived life 

i know that i love it too. 

i love that my boys love their nana's and papa's 

because they have the best around

 and they get to make memories with them that they will remember forever. 

 and then when i do the exact same thing to them with their kids

i can just pull out the old

"you will do this with your grandkids too" card.

cuz what would life be like without family???

 or with out sugar highs, and the crash that follows.

or the ear piercing pterodactyl cry the entire car ride home

that signifies you may have pushed the limits of the day

a little too far!

 it would be down right mundane i tell ya!

so thanks to both sets of nana's and papa's in our lives.

ill forgive you for making some nights of my life a little harder.

because you make the little dudes entire life a WHOLE LOT BETTER!

nana and papa felman

i cant believe that it was only 3 years and 3 months ago that these two younguns became grandparents. 

and NOW they have 5.75 grandkids.

just wanted to give a shout out to two amazing examples of what family means!

thanks for being AWESOME!!!

xoxoxox

oh, the places you'll go..

i was sure i was NOT going to cry when i dropped this little dude off for his first day of preschool. 

i dont know why i would think such a thing

because i cried!

i cried like someone handing over one of her most prized possessions on earth 

to be cared for and looked after by someone she barely knows.

oh wait......duh!

so i ask again...why did i think i wouldn't cry?

this kid however didn't shed a single tear. 

he was so excited for his first day of preschool!!

we worked on his very first homework assignment, 

and he now unfortunately believes that all homework will include lucky charms..

he is in for a rude awaking! 

nana nancy gave him a book called

the night before preschool 

and he went to bed with visions of play time and snack time and music time

dancing in his head!

he was all smiles the next morning

i asked him if he was ready for school.

to which he replied, 

"yes, but i'm a little bit nervous."

he is too big and wise and full of knowledge and words and wit for his own good. 

on the 3 minute drive to  Miss Lisa's house (yeah, good name)

i could feel that all too familiar burn creeping into my eyes and throat.

he was happy and hesitant when he smiled for one last picture and gave us a kiss on the door step.

i watched him walk in, turn the corner and then heard his little feet climb up the stairs to the start of 

something that i have no control over.

independence!

he has had it for along time but at least i could watch him be independent, 

i could watch him struggle or succeed.

and i was there for back up!

not now, 

now for 2 1/2 hours two days a week he is learning and growing and struggling and succeeding without me. 

and before i know it and WAY BEFORE i am ready he will be in jr. high or high school.

and he mooooost likely isn't gonna let me walk him to the door of high school and give him a kiss for good luck. 

so i climbed in the car and drove away completely hiding the fact that the tears were flowing

behind my sunglasses. 

i looked at arron who i had tried to convince that i was not going to cry!

and i said..

"ok, there are some tears!"

he just laughed, and looked at me like, "duh, have you met you!" 

you have brains in your head, 

you have feet in your shoes,

 you can steer yourself any direction you choose.

kid you'll move mountains!

-Dr. Suess